Noticing a forest fuschia flower on the forest floor, Canterbury, New Zealand

There’s always been a part of me ready to chastise myself for not doing something right or good enough. Including meditating. Despite being bombarded with reminders of its benefits and that you can’t do it wrong, I’ve always struggled to maintain a regular meditation practice. I have dabbled my toes into many forms of meditation, chanting, visualisations, connecting with the breath and more, still, nothing really stuck. Some said I was undisciplined, inconsistent and not committed to it (including myself, which was not helpful). Those labels felt like judgement, even though there was some truth in them. Something else was going on as well for me. Nothing seemed to ‘fit’, inspite of my strong belief in its transformative power to awaken my consciousness and connect me more closely with the Divine within me and in the Universe.

Last year, as some of you know, I moved from city to country, to the beloved forest I so often retreated to during my 40 years in Christchurch, New Zealand. I took many risks and transitioned (and still am) through multiple changes simultaneously, something I do not recommend. Whilst I don’t regret it, the stress, huge adjustments and necessary learning curves have taken their toll on me. Of course, buying and selling property, shifting house, location, community, style of living (from town to country), retiring etc., are BIG changes for anybody, singularly let alone all at once. It would be normal to be mentally exhausted navigating all of this. However, for a neuro-diverse person like myself (who wasn’t fully aware of it at the time) these challenges were amplified. Being neuro-diverse explains why I found the reality of the changes so stressful and overwhelming. I had many melt-downs!

What has this got to do with meditation you may ask? Since moving to the forest so much has changed. I still hear the hammering of the inner critic telling me to, “meditate more”, via social media, friends and well-meaning others. This doesn’t motivate me to do something even if it’s “for my own good”. However, what I am coming to realise is that meditation is more a state of being than a state of doing.

I am surrounded by glorious native trees, ferns and singing birds. I breath clean air and drink unpolluted water from a well. The crisp, fresh night sky is filled with millions of stars, a variety of sizes, illuminating the sky like diamonds flung across a soft velvet blanket. I drive less and on roads with hardly any traffic. I have slowed down to notice what is. It is delicious! I pray, ground myself, connect with myself, my Higher Power, the Divine in all things continually throughout any 24-hour period. I slow down to acknowledge my connection with all things. THIS for me is meditation, rather than sitting cross-legged with eyes closed chanting “Om”, although there is nothing wrong with that.

Meditation is connecting with oneself. We are all part of the whole, the Universe, nature. When we slow down and pay attention we are connected to our true essence, aligning with all there is. This perspective on meditation has helped me quieten the inner critic that loves to tell me I “should” be doing more or doing things differently. I am living in a meditative state, not perfectly, but naturally. It flows as simply and easily as breathing. Present awareness makes the difference.

© Karen Lighthouse 2025

Namaste.

Thanks for reading and take care until next time.

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Words by Karen Lighthouse.

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Email me at: karenlighthouse59@gmail.com