To look at my house, most people wouldn’t call me a hoarder. Yet I have a lot of difficulty throwing some things away and when I watch “Hoarders” on tv. I identify with some of their thinking and behaviours. My mother, God rest her soul was, amongst other things, a hoarder. I have some of her genes! Clothes and books are both tricky for me.

Things of sentimental value are the hardest – like things that belonged to my mum. I’ve got several of her dresses. Do I ever where them? No. Can I part with them? No.

Then there’re the other clothes. Every now and then, when the mood strikes, I go through my wardrobe, usually when I have run out of room because I love “Op’ shopping” (shopping at charity shops for some of you) and have accumulated lots of colourful things or after I’ve either lost or gained weight, which, up until recently has been all 65 years of my life!! My garment sizes range from 10 – 18!!

People say, don’t keep your “fat” clothes, I‘m guessing because it’s an invitation to put the weight back on again (not that it needs an invitation). That’s where the hoarders lament comes in – I have so regretted throwing away the “fat clothes” when I’ve gained the weight again! This time, I’ve put aside a few of my favourite or expensive clothes in the larger sizes and pray like heck I don’t put the weight back on yet another time. I remember the first time I prayed that I and I heard a distinctive reply saying, “That’s not up to me!” Bugger….I have to take responsibility for it and do something different to the past.

I plan on getting rid of the of the rest of the clothes I’m too slim for (a nicer problem than the other way around). PLAN to……they’ve been sitting in piles and bags on my bedroom floor for over 2 months now. Just that final push is sooo hard. Some of the clothes I love, others cost quite a bit of money. Although I love being slimmer and it certainly is a lot more comfortable, I kind of resent having to part with them! I definitely seem to be resisting it anyway.

But today, I had confirmation that having hoarding tendencies and not letting go of things actually DOES pay off! It’s an unusually hot summer day here in Christchurch, 33 degrees centigrade and the perfect opportunity to wear a summer dress – which is a rare event for me. That’s because generally I don’t find Christchurch hot enough for them and New Zealand’s weather is renouned for being “4 seasons in 1 day”, which I find highly annoying.

Like reaching into the back of Narnia’s wardrobe, I dragged out an over-loaded plastic coat hanger, that was buckling under the weight of 5 dresses. These dresses I’d bought in France in 2018 when it was too hot to wear anything else. I have not worn these for 5½ years (it hasn’t been hot enough) and been tempted to throw them out several times – you know the rationale, “You never wear them”.

Today was the day – I had hoarders joy not lament. I put the bright pink lacey dress on. It was deliciously loose and cool, and I said aloud to myself, “See, there’s a benefit to not throwing stuff away!”

Books are another issue. I have ceiling to floor books. I like accumulating them but rarely read them! Go figure. I wonder if part of me thinks I can get the information through osmosis – that simply owning the books I’ll magically acquire the contents in my brain (I only read non-fiction). Or perhaps I think it reflects a level of intelligence being in possession of them. Who knows. To me it seems almost sacrilegious to throw them out or pass them on!

Oh well, the mild hoarding isn’t harming anyone and when it gets to the stage they are bothering me I’ll do something about it.

Anyone relate? Let me know your thoughts.

© Karen Lighthouse (2024)

Namaste.

Thanks for reading and take care until next time.

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Words by Karen Lighthouse.

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Email me at: karenlighthouse59@gmail.com