Loving Yourself out of Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is like a cloud, it obscures our path, our vision, like a smoke-screen that we put there ourselves. Self-doubt is the silent killer of unborn dreams and comes like a thief in the night.

I awoke this morning thinking about a dream I had. In the dream a writing mentor told me that I kept saying the word “if”,  a small word that holds a lot of information. In this instance it reflected my self-doubt.

I recently heard an author, Kris Carr, speaking about “keeping the faith”. Sure, she was talking about writing but how much do we need to do that with any goal or dream we have? I know I do. I get so easily distracted and derailed that I can get lost in an abyss of negativity and can abandon my dreams and goals altogether! If we have the desire to achieve something we owe it to ourselves to explore and pursue it, recognise when our vision is obscured with self-doubt and get out of our own way.

One thing that distracts me from writing is responsibility. There just seems so much to do that I am responsible for. As a child of an alcoholic, I adapted by taking responsibility for things that weren’t really my role. Being responsible was a way of coping, a way of trying to gain some control in an unpredictable and sometimes violent environment. But we have a responsibility towards ourselves too. As my needs were often unacknowledged, I grew up not knowing what they were or how I felt. I was too busy focusing outward to try and make the family life more tolerable. I was emotionally abandoned and did not have it modelled to me that my needs were important. I will not abandon myself any more by dismissing myself, my dreams and goals, by putting being responsibility first like I’ve done in the past.

Following our dreams and goals is part of being responsible for and loving ourselves. We show, by our actions, that we take ourselves seriously, that our needs and dreams are valid. And it’s something no-one else can do for us. I remember having this very debate with an artist friend who was so busy doing his volunteering role that his art was being neglected and he wondered why he was feeling down. (I believe there is a direct link with denying ourselves and depression). Other people can do our gardening or housework or fill other roles for us (even though they may need paying) but there is no-one on the planet who can write for me or paint for my friend or achieve your goals for you! This is our responsibility and when we weigh it up, working towards our dreams and goals is part of our purpose …what can be more important than that?

Lift the cloud of self-doubt and go back to baby steps, no matter how small, moving in the direction of your dreams. Keep the faith.  

Our main responsibility in life is to ourselves. This isn’t selfish it’s self-love.

I encourage you to pursue your dreams. You are worth it.

(c) Karen Lighthouse 2022


Thanks for reading and take care until next time.

Comments and questions are welcome.

Words by Karen Lighthouse.

I also offer –

  • One-on-one counselling/coaching via Zoom
  • Group facilitation
  • Mental health education
  • Oracle card readings

Email me at: karenlighthouse59@gmail.com

2 thoughts on “Loving Yourself out of Self-Doubt

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