If I were…………………. Writing letters that you are not going to send can be a really healing and connecting experience. They can transmute experiences: "change in form, nature or substance" the dictionary says. I invite you to write a Sacred Letter to yourself asking the question, “If I were truly loving and accepting myself I …
Tag: boundaries
Letters to your ex you’ll never send
We’ve all experienced heartbreak, and who enjoys it? No-one! When a relationship finishes our feelings don’t just automatically stop. So, what do you do with them then? Options: Stuff them down (your feelings), bottle them up, try and pretend you’re OK by putting on a brave face. Mope around, telling everyone who’ll listen (and many …
Your Mental and Emotional Warrant-of-Fitness #5 Assertiveness
(A Warrant-of-Fitness is the New Zealand equivalent of an M.O.T. in the UK, being a certificate to say your vehicle is road worthy.) Assertiveness is that sweet spot, where you can speak up about your needs or opinions. You are neither passive nor aggressive, the two opposites on the continuum of communication styles. To be …
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Stop Shoulding on Yourself!
Mental and Emotional Warrant-of-Fitness #4 I’m writing from a bit more of a personal perspective this week as I’m trying to practice what I preach by listening to myself. Balancing the desire of my heart to be there for others with the reality of what I can manage without the wheels falling off is a …
Your Mental and Emotional Warrant-of-Fitness
(A Warrant-of-Fitness is New Zealand’s version of car roadworthy inspection like the M.O.T in UK) #3 People pleasing and Boundaries Healthy boundaries = Healthy relationships Difficulty setting boundaries and saying “no” are common traits, particularly for adult children of alcoholics or those who’ve experienced abuse or neglect in childhood (neglect IS abuse by the way). …
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Your Mental and Emotional Warrant-of-Fitness #2 Boundary Building Strategies
(A Warrant-of-Fitness is New Zealand’s version of car roadworthy inspection like the M.O.T in UK) Last week I talked about how boundaries are fundamental to mental and emotional health and wellbeing. Guilt and fear are two things that get in the way of us setting boundaries to protect ourselves, our time, resources and things that …
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Your Mental and Emotional Warrant-of-Fitness. #1. Boundaries
(A Warrant-of-Fitness is New Zealand’s version of car roadworthy inspection like the M.O.T in UK) I’ve had a lot of therapy in my adult life. Recently I've come to a place where I feel I'm "good enough". So I asked my therapist, “If I were to come to you and ask for a mental and …
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Words from the Lighthouse 